2nd day in a new year.

Maybe because it's a new year.

Maybe it's cause I have had a couple of glasses of wine.

Maybe it's because I looked around the room and realized there is 26 plus years of memories.

I am nostalgic.  I miss stuff the way it used to be.

I am happy with my life, for the most part.  And by "for the most part" I mean that, if things were any different, I wouldn't be who I am today.  Do you think it's possible to ever be completely and truely "happy" with EVERYTHING?

If I stop being slightly unsatisfied does that mean I have no things to look forward to?  I would like a different job, I would like a new car, more and nicer clothes, a cooler apartment, (actually I would like to own a home), to be a little bit taller, (or a baller), more time, more money, more more more... and better.

Have you ever met anyone that didn't think any of these?  

By nostalgic, I don't mean I want to be the way I was, or have things the way they used to be, but as with all memories, people tend to remember the best of things.

I know that in a few years 2007 will have been a "good year".

Nothing bad happened. I just dont' know that anything spectacular happened to make it a "good year".  It was just a year as I am sure, as a result of getting older, the rest will be. 

Ick.

I see my candles that my friend Sarah gave me.  I love Sarah.  If I had never met Julie, who I hated at first, and lived with her, whose father gave me a job, teaching a grade I have no degree for, I would have never gotten those candles.

And even though I don't talk to Julie and hated living in a trailor and ended up moving because she got pregnant and married and I had to move in with my sister, who took advantage of me and made my life crazy that made me move out because I didn't feed her children early enough.. and then I had to move into an apartment where my car was stolen and moved again.... I am appreciative, because of all the goodness along the way.

I got those candles.

and met Sarah.

and essential led me here. Here, with a crappy three jobs, not so nice car or apartment, not so fabulous hair or butt, but nostalgically gleeful to be here.

Super

There are only about two people that ever read this, but I need to say something... I could write in my little pen and paper journal upstairs, but I was already at the computer, so this will work...

Anyways.

I have to say something about me.

what a surprise.

that's what this is for right.

Well, I guess it's not "about" me but rather "my" thoughts... I went out tonight to the Pavillion.  I generally HATE places like this, but it was my friends birthday celebration and several of my co-workers/friends were going anyways so I went.  Chad was at work by the way.  Well, most of the time, when I go to places like this, I want to drink lots and ignore the fact that I hate places like this, but tonight was a bit different. And normally when I go to places like this, I want attention from men and to ignore the fact that I hate men that go to places like this.  Of course, I get drunk and men talk to me or dance "up on me" or whatever, but the general idea is that I get those quick fixes and go home.

Tonight was different.  Good, different.  I went with friends and enjoyed my company. I wasn't seeking attention or trying to get drunk.  I am madly in love with my boyfriend and plan on being that way forever with him.  I can't imagine my life without him.  It's so wierd to me to finally be so happy.  I know I have said it before about the love and the happiness, but something else always made me seek the extra attention or whatever, but I didn't have it.  I want him forever and i want to feel this way about him forever.

My boyfriends have usually been "speed bumps" for other men in my life... Chad isn't one.  This is where the freeway ends.  Except I am uncomfortable metaphorically refering to myself as a "freeway" but whatev.

I am so in love. YAY!

I want to have something to say, but I just don't.

eh...

Kits got out today and I was very upset.  I don't know exactly how she got out, but when I found her, she was outside soaking wet from rain on my neighbors back patio.  I think she jumped out of Lauren's bedroom window which is two stories from the ground.  Cats are good jumpers.  I don't want to lose my cat again.

Life is a flippin GIFT

I lost someone that I loved very much.  An amazing soul that was so loving and caring.  She was a role model for me and if I could be half as good as her, it would be a great thing.  She was my lead teacher for student teaching and I learned a great deal from her.

Jennifer Fiscus passed away in a tragic, sudden way. After a miscarriage and DNC, a blood clot went to her heart in the bathtub.  Her husband, Aric, found her.  She had a son, PJ, who is about 6 now.  I don't know why God takes people who are amazing, but I know He has a reason.  It is a sincere and great loss to no longer have her here.

It is hard to get to everyone I love all of the time, but I appreciate ALL of you.  I love you. Know that.  Life is a gift and I know it.  I am so glad you are in mine!!!

Pray for the family and friends of Jennifer, it is a sad, sad day yet glorious because she is with our Lord Jesus in Heaven now.

Pray now.

Love.